Changes
by ZombieJazz
Summary: Olivia is pregnant. Elliot wants to help - but she's not happy about him nosing into her business. Big changes and difficult choices are ahead for her as she prepares to welcome the child she's wanted for years into her life - but under circumstances that aren't exactly ideal. Is she up for the challenge? Story 1 of series.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: This Changes Everything**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf.**

**Summary: Elliot is suspicious that is Olivia is pregnant. She's not happy about him nosing into her business.**

**Author's Notes: This AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Her relationship with Elliot is that of partner and protective older brother and colleague. It won't devolve from that - they aren't ever going to get together in this series. If you're an E/O shipper, you likely won't enjoy these stories. The timeline is a little loose but this is generally set in about Season 8/9. This story is meant as a background piece to kind of set up my other series of stories, A Complicated State of Happiness. I haven't decided if I will continue this series through Olivia's pregnancy. Let me know if you want more for this one - or if hopping from here right into the A Complicated State of Happiness universe is enough. Feedback is great and advise if you're going to distribute elsewhere.**

He walked over to her with a bottle of water in hand.

"Here," he tapped her on the shoulder with it. She was still partially hunched over – coughing up whatever she'd eaten at breakfast. It looked like oatmeal and orange juice – more or less – but certainly didn't smell like it anymore.

It was a grisly scene in there – but he'd never known his partner to have to excuse herself to vomit before. That was something that was left up to green vice – not special victims detectives, especially ones that had been on the job for more than eight years.

"Thanks," she said and took a swig, rinsed her mouth and spit it out onto the concrete.

He started to walk away from the building and back towards where they'd left the sedan. She followed after him.

"Sorry about that. I think I've got a touch of a bug."

He just nodded. "Bug? Hopefully that's short lived," he glanced back at her.

She stopped and glared at the back of his head. "You implying something there, El?"

He shrugged. "You seem to be spending a lot of time in the restroom the last while," he told her. "And you aren't drinking coffee anymore," he pointed out.

She shook her head and fished the keys out of her pocket, clicking the button to unlock the doors and got behind the wheel. "I didn't know you were policing my bathroom breaks and caffeine intake," she spat at him.

He just shrugged again and got into the passenger side.

"Look, I've seen Cathy go through it five times …" he let it sink it. "The specifics aren't my business – but, you know, you're going to have to make it official eventually. Might be nice if you let me know before that - and Cragen. We can watch your back for the next while – until you figure out how you want to deal with it and all the system BS. You need to talk to HR."

She looked at him. "I think you're being kind of presumptuous here," she told him.

"Am I?" He raised an eyebrow. "Liv, look. It's a safety issue too. For you and for everyone around you – cops and civilians."

She glared at him some more, pulling her eyes away from the road. The traffic was already at a New York crawl.

"Well, I haven't decided what I'm doing yet so I'm not making anything official."

"Yeah, right …"

She slammed her foot on the brake harder than she needed to, considering they'd only inched forward. They both shot forward and back into their seats. He put his hand out to brace himself against the dashboard.

"Fuck," he said, "now that is a safety issue. You shouldn't do that."

"Yeah, right? What's that supposed to mean? No, wait, don't say anything. This really is none of your business." She held up her hand.

"You're keeping it," he told her.

"Elliot, seriously," she snapped at him.

"Com'on Liv," he said. "You've made pretty clear over the years you want kids."

She didn't argue with him. Though, she wasn't sure that when she thought about wanting a kids it included being single and pregnant at 37 – with the father being a casual ex-boyfriend on what she assumed was the night his condom had slipped off when he pulled out, resulting in two adults freaking out in a way she hadn't done since she was about 21. Her vision of a family more included being married to some sort of strapping, educated lawyer or Wall St. type and having a condo and two kids in one of the nicer residential neighbourhoods and becoming one of those annoying New York stereotypical upper-upper-middle-class families. This situation – this wasn't part of what she had long known was a daydream about her future life.

"You just have a lot to think about right now – this changes everything," he told her.

She didn't need a lecture from him.

"You think I don't know that?"

"Is there a father?" He knew it was a stupid question but also knew half-ways-sideways that she'd considered in vitro – or at least he'd gotten that impression.

"Is it Moss?" He knew it was dangerous territory – that the IAB had quashed that enough and made her intensely private personal life rather public in the force, or at least at in the bullpen.

"El," she snapped. "We aren't talking about this right now. It's really none of your business."

They sat quiet for a few blocks until she hit another light. She looked at the GPS in the dash. They were still about 20 long blocks away from the precinct.

"You going to tell him?" Elliot asked.

"Seriously?" She demanded. She really felt he was beyond pushing the boundaries here. He just went back to looking out the window, leaning forward to play with the knob on the radio, which was hissing static rather than command, for a second.

"He knows." She glared at the side of his head and then started to move forward again as the taxi driver behind her pushed on his horn.

"Jesus Christ," she swore, looking in her rear view mirror and flicking the siren switch briefly just so the cabbie knew who he was pissing off but then she glanced at her partner again.

"Anything else you feel you need to know there, El? Time and place of conception maybe?"

"He going to be involved?"

He wasn't looking at her. He could see his partner slipping away. He knew the demands of being a parent and trying to do this job. It destroyed a person – ripped at your soul and pulled you away from your family in more ways than he cared to admit. He couldn't imagine her trying to do it as a single mother with a new baby. He couldn't even imagine any single mother still working with the NYPD at all, though he knew there were a handful of them in the system. He didn't want that for his partner, though, his friend.

He looked at the time he'd missed with his first four children and saw his toddler son now and wasn't sure how much longer he could even stay on the job. He'd missed so much with his oldest kids – there were so many problems, things he thought if he'd just been there more he could've made better, or at least had a better relationship with his wife. He didn't want Eli's childhood to look like what his other kids had endured. He wanted to be there for more sports matches and music recitals and parent-teacher meetings and Saturday outings. Olivia should want the same for her's, he thought.

He'd been so involved in his own thoughts and processing the situation that he wasn't sure if she'd even answered – or just ignored him. She turned down the street to start going south.

"I doubt it," she finally spat. "We broke up. He was pretty clear about what our relationship was and wasn't and what he did and didn't want. Long-term and kids was not on either list.

"He's off on assignment in Iraq or something right now anyways. Don't you look at the Ledger ever? He's now their one of their new foreign affairs guys. He's not around."

She saw him nod a bit out of the corner of her eye.

"You need to tell Cragen – maybe talk to one of the union guys. Figure out how to manage this in your career," he told her.

She didn't say anything.

He touched her hand briefly on the steering wheel but then looked out the window.

"Congratulations, Liv," he said.

He was the first person who'd said it to her – and she wasn't in a position to say thanks or to feel any sense or joy or excitement about it. He clearly wasn't feeling that happy for her anyways.

"Yeah, whatever."

**That's all I have planned for this storyline now. But if you liked it and would like to see a continuation looking at the pregnancy, give feedback.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Changes**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf.**

**Summary: Elliot is suspicious that is Olivia is pregnant. She's not happy about him nosing into her business.**

**Author's Notes: This AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Her relationship with Elliot is that of partner and protective older brother and colleague. It won't devolve from that - they aren't ever going to get together in this series. If you're an E/O shipper, you likely won't enjoy these stories. The timeline is a little loose but this is generally set in about Season 8/9. This story is meant as a background piece to kind of set up my other series of stories, A Complicated State of Happiness is next. Feedback is great and advise if you're going to distribute elsewhere.**

She glanced at Elliot as he came into the break room where she was waiting for some instant oatmeal to finish up in the microwave. She kind of hoped it might help calm her stomach or at least wouldn't taste like much of anything if it did decide to come back up.

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and watched him for a moment while he poured himself a cup of coffee. He'd said morning as he entered the room but she'd just nodded and kept standing just off to the side from the microwave and tapping at the counter with her spoon.

She sighed. They were alone. It might be the only chance she'd get to say anything to him without it being a visible production in front of the rest of the squad. She was hoping she could slip out unnoticed for the most part. But the reality was she wasn't going to be able to take a couple hours off without Elliot noticing.

"I've got a thing at 11:30," she told him and he looked up from spooning the sugar into his mug – and raised an eyebrow at her. "I need to get out of here – or wherever by about 11. I'll probably be gone a couple hours."

He nodded. "OK," he said. She knew he'd be able to read between the lines. "You want a lift or something?" He offered casually.

She shook her head. "I'm good."

He just nodded again and left the room – heading back to their desks – as she kept waiting for the microwave to get through its two minutes of cooking the bland oats.

She'd finally actually got to speak with Kurt. She'd felt ridiculous having to tell him she was pregnant via email. But getting a hold of him weeks ago had proven near impossible. The newspaper hadn't been anywhere near remotely helpful. When she finally did get to talk to him it had been on a poor signal on a satellite phone and the conversation had been brief. He'd indicated from the onset that he didn't have much satellite time and that she was costing him a fortune. It had started the conversation with that sort of feel-good feeling she really wanted when trying to speak with the father of her child.

"You got my email?" She'd asked.

"Yeah, I got it," was all he'd said.

She'd waited for several beats to see if he had more to add but he clearly didn't. "OK," she finally said. "Well, I just thought you should know."

"OK," he said flatly.

"I'm keeping the baby," she said.

There was another long silence – so long that she'd actually wondered if the signal had been lost.

"You sure it's mine?" he'd finally said.

She supposed she should've prepared herself more for the question. It was a fair question, she thought. She was sure any man who was no longer in a relationship with the woman would ask the same thing – it was understandable. But still, the implications of his question and even the fact that he felt he had to ask had spoken volumes about where things were at.

She'd known he didn't want a family. When Kurt Moss thought about his life – he glowed about his career and all the stories he wanted to cover, the things he wanted to investigate, the awards he wanted attached to his name. He talked about sources like they were family and he talked about putting the paper to bed like it was his child. She knew from being in his apartment that he valued order and the finer things. He even bristled at her having touched or slightly moved some of his belongings or having put something back in the wrong place. He was older than her – well into his 40s – but he still wasn't ready to add a child to his life. She doubted he ever would be.

He had clearly and vocally indicated to her he didn't want to be a father. She knew that. Just as clearly as he wanted a relationship with her – wanted her to move in with him – but he still wanted it to be casual. He wasn't interested in marriage. She wasn't even sure he was truly interested in long-term. She kind of got the impression he was just interested in convenience and maybe sex. Though, their relationship hadn't really been exemplarily in either of those areas. Admittedly, part of it was timing. Being in a relationship with a man who wasn't really emotionally available in the fallout of her having been assaulted wasn't exactly a good place for them – or for her. Though she'd been interested in him at the outset of them going out, their careers made it complicated and after going uncover at the women's prison, she just wasn't that emotionally invested or even interested in being with any men.

Though, she supposed he should've thought of all of his own misgivings more carefully before he decided to lay on top of her, kissing after he was done one night, waiting to pull out until he'd basically lost his erection enough that he'd slipped out on his own – sans condom. She supposed she could've been more conscious of it too – but she was on birth control, though with everything at work and the undercover assignment and the assault, she admitted her head hadn't really been on completely straight some days. So she acknowledged she had missed a couple days of popping her pill. But they were using condoms, at her insistence, too anyways; double protection from his lack of interest and her lack of commitment. So other than it creating a bit of an awkward moment, she really hadn't thought much of it at the time – until there'd been reason to think of it.

It was the best she could figure when it would've been she conceived. Though she supposed nothing is quite as effective as you think. Technically, it could've been about any time they'd done it. She guessed she'd have a better idea after this appointment and she got given her due date. Still, the general timeframe of the Great Condom Embarrassment had been the approximate date she'd already given her doctor at her first prenatal.

"Kurt, you were the only man I was with for a five-month period. I haven't been with anyone else since then. It is yours," she said firmly.

He offered no response – and again she started to wonder about the connection.

"How long are you on assignment?" She finally asked.

"Don't know," he said.

"When will you be back in the States?" She asked instead.

"Don't know," he said again.

She sighed.

She didn't need to have the telephone conversation to know she'd be doing it on her own. But something about his responses just made it that much more real and that really hitting home had struck her a bit harder than she expected.

She wanted a child – she'd looked at options that would've entailed her being a single mother anyways. But there was something about knowing that she'd actually been in a relationship with the man that fathered her child and he wasn't interested at all – it stung a bit. It was different than adopting. It was different than her deciding to go to a sperm bank and do in-vitro. This was a new form of rejection.

"OK," she managed to get out. "Well, I guess, it'd be nice if you kept in touch a bit – via email."

"Sure," he said.

She had rubbed at her eyebrow. She'd ended the relationship – and he was making very clear that with it ending, it had ended whether there was a baby or not. She hadn't put much thought into what that would mean for her or the child yet. She guessed she'd have to now – or at some point, before the baby arrived. For now, she wasn't sure what more to say or how to even end the conversation.

"OK, be safe," she'd tried – but it didn't feel right. It actually almost felt too kind.

"Yeah, let me know if your status changes," he said.

It hung there. She wasn't sure if he meant if she decided to have an abortion – which she'd already decided she wasn't doing. She didn't know how many more opportunities – if any – she'd get to have a child of her own. The adoption agency had already said she wasn't parenting material – so she wasn't going to get a child that route. And, in-vitro, though appealing in a way, she knew it was an expense she wasn't entirely sure she could afford, especially when taking into consideration she'd be a single mother and dealing with raising a child on a sole income. And that would be after she'd likely have had to pay for several rounds before she managed to get pregnant. That would be tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of dollars.

Maybe he meant if she had a miscarriage, which was one of her bigger fears at the moment. Though she was nearing the end of her first trimester at that point, (that's how fucking long it had taken for Kurt to have any kind of reaction and for her to even reach him. It made her angry) which she understood to mean increased her chances that the pregnancy was going to stick. Maybe he meant if she suddenly realized that the baby wasn't his. Maybe he thought she might've immaculately conceived the child.

She didn't have a chance to ask him what he meant, though, because that time the lengthy silence after his comment was accompanied by a buzz that made it clear that the line had been cut-off.

She felt a little strange knowing she'd be going to this appointment alone. The doctor had told her this ultrasound would tell her when she was due. She also would be when she'd confirm it was just a single baby – she couldn't imagine it would be twins – or more? That just seemed too crazy to even think about. She was most excited that she'd likely get to hear the baby's heartbeat, though, and to get some sort of view of it – or whatever exactly a fetus looked like at about 11 weeks.

It seemed like something she was supposed to be sharing with someone. This whole thing seemed like something she was supposed to be sharing with someone. She was finding it strange to realize that her being pregnant meant she'd be adding a little person to her life – but for the moment the whole thing just felt so isolating. She felt alone in a way she wasn't sure she'd felt since she was a teenager and living with her alcoholic and hate-filled mother.

She thought pregnancy was generally supposed to be a happy time for expectant mothers? It wasn't that she wasn't happy. She was – though nervous, if not a little scared and sort of wondering what the hell she was thinking and if she could even pull it off. What was she going to do about her job and career and did she even know how to raise a child? It wasn't like she'd had a very good example set for her growing up. Her mother was probably a good example, though, of how not to be a single mother. At least she had left lots of warning signals about ways to go wrong. She thought she'd be able to avoid most of them pretty well.

But there was still her job. She wanted a child, to be a mother, to start a family of her own – she just wasn't sure how the rest of her life fit into it. Dropping her career and starting down a new path when she was about to need an income more than ever didn't seem like the best option. She wasn't even sure that was something she would even be able to bring herself to do – SVU was a part of her.

She was just confused – and she was alone. So far the pregnancy had been more challenging than she expected too. There was a lot more morning sickness and headaches and fatigue and stuffy noses that wouldn't quit than she'd ever really considered – or even really heard about. Not that she spent time in a lot of circles of women that were popping out babies – and guys just didn't really complain about those kinds of things when their wives or girlfriends were pregnant. They were more concerned about having to cater to cravings, dealing with mood swings and how it was going to impact their sex lives and pocket books.

She knew Elliot would try to help if she let him. He had already tried to other some support and advice – but she'd basically ignored it and closed him out. It was all too personal and she wasn't sure she wanted him that close. He knew too much about her as it was. Sometimes she felt like he knew everything about her – even the things she wished he didn't know. This, though, was different. This was her life in a whole different way. It was important decisions and big changes.

He'd told her once before that he'd support any decision she made if she decided to pursue starting a family. She knew he meant it. But at the time it felt condescending. Even now the brief – but awkward interaction they'd had where he'd broached the topic of her pregnancy on his own accord – had felt condescending, like he knew best. He didn't know best, she'd decided. It was her body, her baby, her life. These were her decisions. She didn't need him sticking his nose farther into her business.

The microwave finally dinged and she paced back to it and took out the bowl giving it a stir – before wrapping a paper towel around the base to be able to pick it up and take it back to her desk. Elliot looked up at her as she sat down and gave her another thin smile. He was trying. But as much as she didn't want to be going through this alone – she also wanted to be left alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Changes**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf.**

**Summary: Elliot is suspicious that is Olivia is pregnant. She's not happy about him nosing into her business.**

**Author's Notes: This AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Her relationship with Elliot is that of partner and protective older brother and colleague. It won't devolve from that - they aren't ever going to get together in this series. If you're an E/O shipper, you likely won't enjoy these stories. The timeline is a little loose but this is generally set in about Season 8/9. This story is meant as a background piece to kind of set up my other series of stories, A Complicated State of Happiness is next. Feedback is great and advise if you're going to distribute elsewhere.**

She hated that she had to let Elliot pick her up outside of the ultrasongrapher's office building, but the whole appointment had ended up taking longer than she anticipated and she couldn't waste more time getting back down to the precinct. They had to get over to talk to Warner and they were supposed to be touching base with the victim's family too. She knew this would save time as much as she despised that she had had to call him from the waiting room and give him the address, asking him to just meet her there before she lost more of her work day.

She got into the car as he pulled up and took her seat and did up her seatbelt without saying a word, even though she could feel him watching her and clearly waiting for her to say something. But, after she got the belt clipped she crossed her arms in front of her and gazed straight ahead for a moment.

"So are we going?" She finally said, glancing at him.

He gave a small sigh and flicked on the blinker to pull back out into traffic and to start making their way to the Medical Examiner's Office. She just didn't have the stomach for all the smells in there these days – without even getting into what she was usually having to look at. She couldn't decide if Melinda, a medical doctor as well, had likely figured out what was up or had just decided she'd suddenly lost her stomach for the morgue and autopsy bay.

Thankfully, she was minding her own business a bit better than Elliot at this point, and hadn't said anything, even on the days where she'd had to excuse herself or had literally started dry heaving in the room. She was starting to get better about remembering to smear the Vapo-Rub under her nose before stepping inside or at least grabbing a mask, though she knew that change was just drawing attention to herself too. She wasn't sure which route was worse – puking like a rookie or looking like a newb.

"How'd it go?" He asked as they came to a stoplight light and glanced at her.

She just nodded as a way of saying 'fine' but she could feel his eyes still on her. "We aren't having this conversation, El," she said sternly, giving him a look and then looking back out the front window. "The light's green," she told him, as he continued to gaze at her.

He turned his eyes back to the road and again started to drive.

"I was so nervous going into Kathy's first ultrasound with Maureen," he offered.

"I never said it was an ultrasound," she said flatly.

"Oh, was it a prenatal?" He asked instead.

"El, for all you know, that could've been an abortion clinic or an adoption centre or just my family doctor for a flu shot, maybe my shrink, my dentist for a teeth cleaning. Drop it."

He glanced at her and tapped at the steering wheel. "You know I'm there for you, right?" he finally said.

She sighed. "Elliot, yes. But this is my life and my business. Please – give me some space here."

He nodded but then added, "I know going to doctor's appointments alone can be … intimidating. So, if you ever want some company … even just in the waiting room …"

"El," she snapped but sighed and tried to calm her voice. "I'm a grown woman. I can handle going to the doctor's on my own. Can you please, just drive?"

He looked at her sideways again and she just really wished he'd keep his eyes on the road. Not watching the traffic in this part of Manhattan was like asking to get a fender bender or, worse, to pin a pedestrian.

"So the baby's alright, though?" He asked.

He had consistently dropped little comments when they were alone, since she'd confirmed for him that she was pregnant, that she should be careful doing certain things. His list of certain things, in private, seemed to involve just about everything, which her doctor had assured her was overkill at this point, though realistic probably coming up all too quickly at this point. Elliot also kept prying on if she'd talked to Cragen or the union or HR. She avoided answering him - but the truth was she hadn't. Not yet.

Though, she knew as she started her second trimester she needed to tell her captain and just generally start making arrangements for how this would impact her assignments, desk duty becoming an upcoming necessity for her and maternity leave – and just how all that worked.

She'd started looking into it. But the reality was that collecting much of that information privately had been a little challenging so that had been something she'd been trying to work around. And, even though she knew she needed to talk to Cragen very soon, she still wasn't sure how to have that conversation with him. She knew he'd be respectful and professional about it – but it still felt awkward to the point she didn't even like thinking about it.

Then there was the fact that she really wasn't ready for it to be public knowledge around the station yet. She wasn't even sure when she would be ready for that – even though she knew she'd probably start showing soon.

She sighed audibly. "The baby is fine, El," she said flatly.

The truth was the appointment had been exciting. A little nerve-wrecking but in the end also very exciting. She knew they were assessing the baby for Downs Syndrome or other potential abnormalities at the scan, especially given her age. But she came out of it being told that there didn't look to be a reason for worry much. Though, she was still offered other testing options and another scan at 20 weeks was recommended. She intended to do that one anyways, just to find out the sex of her baby. But, after they managed to get past that discussion, the rest of the experience had truly been amazing for her in a way she hadn't entirely been prepared for.

Hearing the baby's heartbeat had been near startling for her. She wasn't sure what she expected or how she thought she'd feel or react – but it had just made it so incredibly real so instantly. Her OB-GYN had tried to find the heartbeat at their appointment two weeks ago with just a stethoscope during her exam. She hadn't been able to locate it but had assured her that it was normal and that she'd likely have the chance to hear it when she was in for her ultrasound in a couple weeks.

She had been worried that the doctor hadn't been able to find the heartbeat and had feared that she'd lost the baby or that it was a stillborn or somehow she'd never been pregnant at all. So she'd kind of restlessly been awaiting the baby to grow a few weeks older and to become more developed – and to just get into the ultrasound and confirm that everything was alright.

She ended up being so amazed and transfixed getting to hear the noise when it came over the speakers. There was a feeling of relief and then that was quickly replaced the reality that it was all actually happening. She'd been so caught up in just listening to the sound that she'd almost forgotten that she was actually going to get to see the baby – and the incredible depth of the emotion she'd felt when the tech had turned the monitor towards her so she could see had taken her off-guard.

She heard women cried during their ultrasounds. She wasn't expecting to be one of those women. But as she saw the image of the fetus, very clearly a baby and a human that was growing within her, tears had come. She could so clearly see the baby's face and nose and its arms and legs – and it moving. Dancing, the sonographer had called it. She loved that idea. Her baby was a dancer. It had amazed her.

In that moment she'd really been able to put aside some of her misgivings and doubts and fears about her decision to do this – to plough ahead into single motherhood. This beautiful little person was growing inside of her and they already looked so real and so incredibly alive.

She had been feeling her body changing and her pants closing tighter – she felt like she could already start to see the beginnings of her baby bump. But to actually see what – and who – was happening in her had taken it to a whole new level of reality. It was different than looking at ultrasound pictures or reading about what to expect when you're expecting. This was real and it was hers.

She really wanted nothing more than to spend some more time gazing at the photo of her growing baby that had been printed off for her and was now in her coat pocket. She really wanted to get home so she could put the disc she'd been given with photos and video from the ultrasound into her computer and look at it all again. But instead she was stuck in a car with Elliot grilling her and headed off to look at some dead body and then to talk to the devastated family of the girl – again.

"It was the first ultrasound?" He tried again. He was being relentless.

"El, I didn't bug you about all of this stuff while Kathy was pregnant with Eli."

"That was old hat for us by Eli," he said, "and don't act like you don't get into my family's business. Kathleen. My mother. Fin's business – Ken."

She shook her head and gazed out her side window without gracing him with a response.

"You've got people around you that care, Olivia," he said. "You have to let us in eventually – especially with having a kid. You're going to need some help. You can't do it all on your own."

"That's what being a single mother is, El," she said, again with a fuck-off tone to her voice.

"That's the father copping out. That doesn't mean you don't get and deserve help from other places," he told her, glancing her way again.

"You may not want the attention – but you're going to be getting some," he stressed when she remained silent. "There's going to be a lot of people who will be happy for you and happy to help – when you start opening up a bit about what's going on."

"El, I work with the NYPD. I'm a detective. I can't start displaying myself as some pregnant woman."

"You'll have to eventually. You can't be placing yourself in situations that could hurt you or the baby."

"Eventually. Not yet."

He sighed. "Don't you usually get a due date at the first ultrasound?"

"I still haven't said it was an ultrasound," she said again.

"I saw you when I was pulling up – you looked pretty fucking happy until you got in the car and started the 'I don't care, it's not a big deal' act again. You don't have to keep it up for my sake. I'm pretty sure the kind of smile you had plastered on your face isn't one you have after seeing the dentist or getting a flu shot."

She rolled her eyes.

"So you're just into your second trimester or so then, right? So the baby is due … June?"

She sighed. "They dated the baby at 11 weeks, one day. So they estimated the due date as July 2."

Elliot glanced over and gave her a smile. She wasn't sure if he was happy he finally managed to break her and get some information out of her – or if he was actually happy for her.

"Maybe you'll have a July 4th baby," he said.

She shrugged. "Maybe."

He pulled into the parking garage at Warner's office and seemed to focus his attention on navigating the vehicle down the curving ramps for the moment and then finding a spot. She thought the conversation was over but as he put the car into park and turned it off, he'd looked at her again while she undid her seatbelt.

"So where's the sonogram?" He asked.

She glanced at him. "In my pocket," she said, and opened her door to get out. He followed suit.

"Do I get to see it?"

"I wasn't planning on showing it to you," she said, stuffing her hands into her pockets, protectively and also just to make a point.

"You saw Eli's," he said, walking beside her.

"We're out of the car now, El. This is no longer us talking in privacy. So seriously – drop it."

"We're in the parking garage. Com'on. Just a quick look."

She sighed and stopped walking. "El, you do not get to force yourself on me to the point you get to be a part of this every step of the way. That is seriously going to upset me. It's going to hurt our partnership. This is my personal life. It's not work-related."

"Personal life and work can get pretty intertwined, Liv, whether we like it or not. It's the way this job goes," he told her with a deep seriousness to his voice.

She watched him for a moment and then pulled the photo from her pocket and held it out part way to him. "I am asking you as my partner and as my friend, to give me space in all of this. Stop brow-beating me about it all. Let me deal with it my own way in my own space. Trust me to do that and trust that I'll ask for help if I need it."

He looked at her – and nodded slowly, so she handed him the sonogram. She watched him looking at it. It was a brief look but she saw the smile that crept across his face and he glanced up at her with eyes that betrayed a sense of relief though a touch of trepidation for her about what lay ahead. Still there was a happiness in them.

"Always knew you'd end up making some nice looking babies, Liv," he told her and handed it back.

She shook her head at him and the ridiculous comment – but embarrassedly tucked her hair behind her ear. She stood again for a moment and looked at the picture, trying to keep her own smile from spanning across her face. Suddenly when looking at the sonogram the next 29 weeks seemed like a very long time to wait to get to meet her baby. They already looked perfect to her.


End file.
